Kash, no checks

The story of Marglar

"...You know, it's tough growing up with the last name Margler. Even living with the noble and caring race of Eladrin people known in that region as the Rumania Tribe. They tend to not give you any slack and always blame every little thing that goes wrong on you. Like when a kid from one of my training groups suffered a mental breakdown from seeing ghosts and hearing his long dead grandma talk to him from his closet. I did it, of course, but it would have been nice for them not to punish me without even an investigation. I had to keep the village free of animal droppings for a month, they also said that this was to get things right with Melora. I always seem to be on her bad side. I try to appease her, it's just not always the first thing I think of. Well, she looks after me and my tribe so I try to look after her. Sometimes I kind of agree with the term "Marglar", as in to really screw that up. I look at my family and think, what a bunch of idiots, I'm nothing like them. But then I find myself doing things like lighting my farts on fire near someone's head catching it on fire and laughing hysterically as they run around like an eladrin kabob. I know that's not a good thing to do, I just can't seem to help myself. So here I am, prolonging the Marglar tradition, even though my name is pronounced Margler, noone seems to care. Sometimes when I meet new people I stress the difference in my last name, but then they see me doing stuff like chasing someone with two pieces of brread and making them say things like, "Come to me, let me devour you so that you will have to eat nothing but week old soup in helllllllllll." You gotta draw out that last part, adds to the scary.
But one incident when I was a bit younger made me realize that I would have to do something about the family name and the stigma attached to it. If not for my sake, but for future generations, but mostly for my sake. I was out walking near the border to my village, there's some great chrysanthemums out that way, and they smell great. As I was walking, I felt a hard thump on the back of my head and blacked out. When I woke up, I could see a whole mess of goblins around a fire that seemed to make the only light in the place. I was in some sort of dungeon. Neat, never been in one of these before. One of the goblins could speak a bit of common, so we talked for a bit as I talked about my village and its massive defensive capabilities. I told him that the evil wizard Hurg had put a curse on the village, that any non-eladrin who stayed there for longer than a day, would be turned into an animal, like a weasel or rabbit. There was also mention of a dragon or Demi-God or something, you know, it's hard to keep the lies straight. His eyes were getting big with the thought of reward until I told him my name, it just kind of came out. He took a step back, looked me up and down, started laughing, then walked off. He walked over to his goblin buddies and everyone went from laughing hysterically to realization, I was pretty much worthless to them. Who in their right mind would pay to get back a Margler, they're better off. Atleast that's what I surmised, as I kept hearing my name again and again, followed by looks of defeat. But they had no idea that I had been training to be a wizard, so after the initial craze about my name left and the goblins started to dispurse I let myself out of the ropes, well, they weren't tied very tight at all, these guys were not good kidnappers. And I sneaked around the dungeon for a day, trying to find my way around. Learning a few things about dungeon life as I watched the goblins from afar. They noticed that I was gone and looked for me for about ten whole minutes, then said whatever and went back to loafing around the fire. The next day, I heard a big commotion, lots of screaming. I went to check it out and I saw a Tiefling dispatch the last of the goblins with a great sword. Fire burned bright from his eyes and he would have scared me, if he wasn't the coolest person I'd ever seen. After he put his sword away, I approached him, he was weary of me at first. The he heard my name, chuckled and let his guard down. I asked if he could show me the way out, and he said okay. It took us half a day to get out of that dungeon. On the way out, he pointed out things about dungeons that would later turn out useful. He also regaled me with tales of the outside world and how a man could make his name legend with nothing but the sword in his hilt and the courage in his heart. I listened in awe. He dropped me at the border of my village and we parted ways, I hope that I get to see Garrison Bluxart again some day.
Life in the village seemed to drag after that incident and noone seemed to notice that I had been gone for so long. Even my family had figured I'd gotten lost in the forest, for a week. I made a vow to myself that day, I would be better than that cursed name of mine. I gathered my things, left a note, and started my journey toward redemption. Okay, so I also stole a few gold pieces from my folks, they probably won't even notice.
On my travels South I came across a woman on the side of the road who was camped there, for what appeared to be ages, promising to tell your future, for a price. That sounds neat. So I get in and sit down and give her some gold and she looks at my palm and gets this surprised look on her face. She said that my future was cloudy but my past was an open book. She told me that the Margler Clan used to be the most respected among the eladrin people, but jealousy and hatred brought one of the other clans to get the evil wizard Hurg to put a curse on his family for all generations to come. That they would be damned to be idiots, and that the idiocy would come on stronger the older they got, until they were complete idiots at old age. That sounded about right for my parents, they were pretty old and complete idiots. The name of the wizard sounds familiar, yeah, that's the name of the evil wizard I use when making up curses that were put on places. That's weird. She offered nothing more and I left. Was she just some old coot, who knows, with a name like Madame Zeldary, she sure sound like one.
The gold I had taken from my parents didn't last as long as I'd hoped. I ended up falling in with a group of adventurers. Lotha, Cole and I would go on missions for people, end up killing something or finding something or someone and they'd pay us for our services. As I'd been trained as a wizard since I was young, I quickly made myself a valuable member of the team. And they didn't seem to mind the shenanigans. In fact, Cole would always go along with them. Even when I would lie rampantly about something and say he was there, he'd just go with it. He reminds me of Garrison Bluxart, well, being the only other tiefling I've met before, that probably has something to do with it. My goal is to someday be as courageous as Bluxart and make the name Margler not the joke it is today. I think we'll just have to take that one day at a time..."